#justdoit

The interesting thing about Hawaii is...well, aside from everything...we just never want to be inside.

There is something to be said about being active and being outdoors, right?  It's good for your heart, good for your soul, probably better for our pocketbook (man, are we broke!).  But being outside changes you - you cannot control the weather (I was rained on three times during a four mile walk with Marley and Peanut on Friday...), you cannot control the other people (ahem, tourists), and you cannot control the ocean (I met some coral with my left leg yesterday...ouch).  But what you CAN control is your activity.

Here's us climbing Diamondhead...

And us at the top....

That GoPro is amazing!

So here's the thing.  In Arizona, I was a half-hearted fitness buff - I worked out because I felt like I should, and yes, I ran half marathons (at least one a year) and yes, I hired a trainer (that did not work out so well...) and I tried to justify joining a gym (never did).  But I never saw change.  Tommy and I got into a semi-heated discussion about how running never saw me the results I wanted from it (pardon my grammar) and I argued that it was because I didn't strength train at the same time (can't see change and evolution unless you work ALL aspects of your body).  So...what to do, what to do...

We came to the conclusion that we are going to continue to hike and do things like surf, boogie board, and run around the island on the weekends. During the week, it's run 3x, swim 2x, and do strength training at least three times (squat challenge, ab challenge, etc; no gym for this girl when we live in paradise!)

My goal is to look good to myself. Lofty, but I'm going to do it.  Aren't our brains just interesting...no matter how much you love yourself, you are your own harshest critic!!

Happy adventuring!

#trust

Sometimes you just have to trust yourself.

All the worry and all the wonder about moving to an island, and all that wonder and worry got me was a bunch of wonder and worry.  Now...I know...you re-read that sentence to see if there was a deeper meaning.  There was not.  As Tommy always says, "worry is like a rocking chair...all that work and it gets you nowhere".

I talked with my friend Ashleigh on the phone this morning (she's helping me with some perspective work) and I realized that moving was not that hard.  But most people, at least when you tell them you are moving to Hawaii, say things like "you know, its really expensive there" (really?  you've lived there?) and "you know it's an island, right?"  (really?  no way!).  But most people have NO idea what Hawaii is like...

The day we arrived, our landlord put coffee and creamer in the house and pulled a mattress into one of our bedrooms, with clean sheets, so we would have a place to sleep the first night.  She also asked if we needed anything "breakfasty" so that we would not have to worry about the grocery store.  A day later, when the POD arrived with all of our stuff, our neighbors came and helped us move EVERYTHING in.  And this was AFTER we asked her, at eight in the morning, to move her car because it was in the way.  I'm just saying...no neighbor in Arizona ever helped me with moving - my friends didn't even help us move half the time!

So really, the only thing you need to know when considering a move is whether or not you WANT to go.  Do you?  It's not vacation, it's not permanent vacation, it's not easy.  But what it IS for you...that's what you need to figure out.  That's what'll get you here...

#loveandmarriage

So, today marks one of those days you both cannot believe is happening and feel like you wait forever for...our anniversary!  Four years later, Tommy still says "I love you" every morning when he wakes up.  The day we got married was so perfect, and each day I am so thankful to everyone that made it happen.

To some, four years may seem like nothing.  I mean, when you have been married for 70 years, I can see how, in perspective, four years may seem small.  But some days, I feel like this four years took a hundred.  (some days?  our wedding feels like yesterday.)

You see, when we got married, both Tommy and I felt like maybe we wouldn't get married (his mother sure thought so...she still thanks me to this day for coming into his life).  We were both in our late twenties when we met, so not exactly "old"...but I think in some ways, the idea of marriage was not on our radar.

And so now, four years and four dogs later,

I remember yelling at Tommy to get out of the water at Pacific Beach so I could eat (oooh, I'm a cranky mama), turning around to yell again for him to hurry up, seeing him kneel in that water and knowing our lives were never going to be the same.  That ring sparkled like the day is long and I still, to this day, catch my breath thinking, "I'm married to the best man in the entire world!"

Add one sparkly, pretty anniversary band, selling a house, moving into a double-the-cost-half-the-size apartment on Oahu, transporting four dogs, a POD, and two cars over an ocean, and here we are today.  Turns out the move was not nearly the trial I thought it might be...we even laughed a few times while eating airport muffins the size of our heads at five in the morning waiting for our one way flight.  He's a good man, that Tommy.  I cannot wait to celebrate four hundred more.

xo

#failure

I was inspired by zenhabits this morning...a blog that I actually have delivered into my email so that I do not miss one lovely word.  He talked about his failures, the ways that he has defied the world and made his own path, the measures he has "measured twice cut once" that have not worked the way he wished for...over time, over dreams, over the best of intentions.

Most of you, those who follow us and our dreams anyhow, know that Tommy and I rarely share our failures - part of that is because there are not many, but part of that is also because we've always reframed our failures into opportunities and chances for growth.  This is essential to not only who we each are as human beings, but also who we are to the world - a therapist, a helper, a strategist, a friend, a neighbor.

One of my favorite theories to use during times of failure is reality therapy.  Developed by William Glasser and based in choice theory, reality therapy stresses that we have four basic "wants".  Without getting into the specifics of his theory, go read it if it intrigues you.  But here's what strikes me -

We have a choice.

Yes, we are confined with rules and regulations and all "the man" stuff, but we have a choice.  Struggle with working out?  Make the first choice and get off the couch.  Struggle with good food choices?  Make one change a week.  Compulsive spending?  Leave your credit card at home.  Compulsive drinking?  Don't say yes when the poor influence asks if you want to go out.  Yes, I KNOW some of these things are simpler said than done.  But you have a choice.

So make it.  You're the only one who can. Be well.

just smile about it.

Some days, you wake up and the world feels like a bigenormousgiant weight on your shoulders.  Then some days, you wake up feeling like this:

I had just walked across the stage at Orpheum Theater in Phoenix, Arizona to accept my masters degree.  Now, with that degree I earned a nice chunk of student loan debt; however, this day was this huge, monster sized accomplishment I kicked my own ass to get.  I wore a cap that flattened my bangs (ain't nobody gonna hold me down), my lei began to wilt in the summer heat the second my husband lei'd me (ain't nobody gonna hold me down) and my Program Chair almost forgot my name (ain't nobody got time for her!).  But this day stood for so much more than flat hair and some lady I'll probably never see again.  (and don't compliment her shoes - she can see right through flattery.)

And now, less than two years later, I'm in the place of my dreams (the state, not this apartment) with the man that I love, four furbabies slowly learning how to scratch at the door when they have to go potty, and an opportunity to change the state of Hawaii and how they approach mental health.  Really, how much more can one person handle?

We'll just have to wait and see, hmm?  I'm off to run.  Go out and do something about it!

#hawaii

I would totally blame the no posts this weekend on being busy...wait.  There's no such thing as too busy for documentation.  But man, did we play this weekend!

We got up on Saturday morning all sorts of motivated to climb koko head trail.  If you live in Hawaii or you've been here a few times, you have heard about this old trail.  Basically, it's 1,048 steps that become more and more steep as you climb up.  Wow...the views are worth it.  This is Hanauma Bay from the top of koko head...

It took us about 30 minutes to climb to the top and about 20 to climb down.   There's a bridge in the middle that could freak out the strongest of stomachs, but there is a trail that you can use to go around.  It's just amazing.

So Sunday we wake up and meet our new friends Chris and Erica to do an "easy" hike...I'm not really sure what we were thinking, considering Makapu'u isn't exactly "easy"...but wow... the view from the top is also breathtaking.  We were treated to a little rain on the way up, resulting in this view below us...

A rainbow.  Below us.

Anyhow, our life is so different here than it ever was in Phoenix.  It's crazy to me that my husband is now all willing to do physical activity and such.  I'm blessed and lucky...

Go out, make some change, do a rain dance.  Make life happen.

sometimes life just surprises you.

So yesterday, we finally received the official news from my company - I'm opening a branch here in Hawaii!  This idea would not have crossed my mind if my husband did not push me to be the best I can be, work harder than I think I can, do more than I thought possible.  I cracked a joke to the CEO of my company after telling them I was moving to Hawaii to fulfill our dream...and that "cracked joke" turned into a conversation, which turned into a proposal...which turned into a job!  (I did have to sweat a little in the middle...)  Like, an amazing opportunity for me to grow, change, learn, and be influential in the state of Hawaii mental health care system.

So we call the five people we know on Oahu and they all come to celebrate...we walk to the local bar (yes, walk...after five years of driving a half mile to Walgreens rather than walking or riding my bike-the epitome of laziness) and find people are really...friendly.  It's nuts.  Everyone here wants to know our story.   There is a "Bears fans parking only" sign on the wall.  They have blue moon on tap.  Even the checkout woman at Costco last week asked where we were living and whether or not the island feels like home yet...

All this worry, all this fear, all this is-this-gonna-work-out-or-will-I-be-stuck-wondering-why-the-heck-we-did-this escaped out the lovely sunset view window of our tiny apartment, freeing me from the chain of "how am I going to make sure we're happy".  Because really...what happened?  I let go.  I allowed myself to trust the universe - I finally practiced what I preach...the universe gives back what you give away...whether that be kindness, desire, charity, or hate.  Don't you worry; no matter what, the guy who left you a five percent tip will be paid back in kind.

Time to take a deep breath.  I've got work to do.

a little humility, please

Yesterday, after our workday was done, Tommy and I decided we would go for a little explore trip to the North Shore.  Now, I will not proclaim to know much about Oahu, and I really have so, so much more to learn (feels quite intimidating, actually).  So we pack up our work stuff (working from home is hard to separate...) and off we go.

I was taken aback, first of all, by the sheer beauty of the north shore.  It's breathtaking, and that doesn't even begin to describe what happens to me when we drive up the H3 and along Kamehameha Highway.  Everything is green, lush, looks like a waterfall is about to start trailing down the side of bamboo forest.  It's really something, and while I tried to capture this on my fancycameraiphone, my efforts were totally futile.  I literally had to drink it all in while staring out the window.

The thing that struck me, when we arrived at "turtle beach", was the amount of people crowded around Oakley, this massive male sea turtle on the beach (napping, apparently).  It hit me, in the same way my disappointment over the "I can't capture this on my superfancyiphonecamera", that everyone was trying to do the same thing - catch the moment of seeing this massive phenomenon.  And no amount of shaka or "i'm not stepping over the line, I swear, but hurry capture this on camera!" could really catch the beauty of that turtle, sleeping completely unaware on one of the best turtle spotting places on Oahu. He was blissful, peaceful, and completely unaware of all those cameras snapping his face into family photo albums.

Over the last year, I've been trying (with the help of my ashleighhenne) to capture the essences of our lives rather than make sure I have everything all in a row for the best shot.  Why not live, we say, for living sake, rather than for doing sake? Who are we trying to please?

I did capture this, though.  So pretty.

Live well.  Love yourself first.  Be happy and experience the life we have.

the first week.

So we survived the dog quarantine, the house hunt, the too many thousand dollars we shelled out, and the airport food (thank you @noellephx).  We arrived relatively unscathed and even had a little fun on the way.  The four dogs were relatively easygoing, eating freeze-dried “organic all natural” food patties because I refuse to give them kibble.  They slept in four different houses over three months, peed outside in the rain, survived a six-hour plane ride without too much pee, and even smiled at me a few times. 

I have worked out in some fashion every day this week – swimming, running, walking the dogs (holy hills here, batman!), hiking.  We met some lovely people along the way (even in the first day!) and our landlord is only marginally batty.  (She’s just lonely, I think.)  I feel like this may be the best decision we have made in our can-you-believe-we-have-been-married-for-only-four-years-whoa-its-been-four-years? I don’t know if I will be lonely, freak out, make this job thing work, whatever.  But I’m damn sure gonna do my best.

I woke up this morning feeling a bit better about myself than yesterday. Some days, I focus on feeling like a ginormous whale…I mean, I figure I’m not a whale, but some days, my brain just refuses to think any other way.  My skin is clearing up (thank you, Clarisonic combined with salt water!) and I think I may actually have found a way to make myself wash dishes by hand every day.  (Ugh; no dishwasher.)  The dogs have only peed in the house a few dozen times (I get it, no doggie door and they totally egg each other on) and don’t get me started on the first night when we forgot to crate all of them…poop party!

Anyhow, I woke up motivated to share our story and our life.  We are already connected socially, but I’ve wanted to start blogging again anyhow.  And now, with only one little full time job rather than one-and-a-half, here we are.  You ready for a Pierucki journey?  I am.