#friendship

So moving across an ocean makes old friendships challenging.  In my 20's, everyone was a friend, and it didn't matter how many of us there were, everyone was a bestie!  After getting married, after working in way too many restaurant/bars, and despite my best efforts, after turning 30...I became so much more particular about who I spend my time with.  Investment became my tool rather than quantity.

After moving to Oahu, and even before, I knew that two things would happen - loneliness would hit me, at some point, and "friends" would pop up everywhere asking to come visit.  After agreeing to have guests the first two months (almost back to back), I've learned who my friends are, who my not-so-much-friends-just-using-me-like-a-hotel-maid-cleanup-feed-me-service are, and I've learned more and more how to say no.

My sister in law is really the most wise person I know.  And yet, she's always gracious.  (At least when I come visit.  Who knows.  Maybe I'm a good guest?)  And she is the one person who  I can count on for honesty - such as "perhaps you should take a break from guests?" or "be kind and gracious; it'll get you through anything".  Sometimes I want to yell "YOU CAN'T WASH A DISH?"  And then I remember my sweet sister in laws face...she's saying "kind and gracious...kind and gracious..."

It's been lonely here, and I'll admit I'm not great with female friendships.  I ran with a new girlfriend today (and she paced me perfectly; I loved every mile!) and I may have found a new friend :)  We'll see. I always come through in the end - sometimes it takes some time and the right female.

This is my friend Stacey.  I adore her...and she and I just might make it here together.  She lived across the street and helped us move in to our new apartment...and took me hiking...and introduced me to Lanikai beach, Lanikai juice...and Lanikai Pillbox hike!  (See the Mokes in the background?)